Twilight of the Gods
by starbuckjade
Summary: Fate and destiny meet in a divine moment which will forever change the life of Kara Thrace.


**This was a challenge from one of my regular readers, Romeoharvey. Romeo wrote a fic where Dee and Kara took physical comfort in each other after Lee's death. I didn't see it that way, I thought they were more likely to cause each other physical pain than comfort. And I was told to write it how I saw it and here it is.** **Just as a warning, this really isn't a happy fic. **

* * *

"_Starbuck watch your six." Lee's voice was a warning in her ear._

"_I got it Apollo, keep an eye on the ducklings." She growled, speeding up to evade the raiders on her tail. _

"_Frak…" she muttered as she heard the radiological alarm engage. One of her new friends had sent a nuke after her. Whatever happened to the good old days when raiders saved those for Galactica. _

_She turned swiftly, moving away from the fleet and the other vipers. If this nuke was going to go off it wasn't taking any extra causalities with it. _

_Only Lee caught sight of her leaving the heat of battle. "Starbuck!" he called after her, throwing on his after burners to catch up to her. He muttered a command to Hotdog to keep an eye on the rest of the squadron while he went after her. _

_As Lee took out the raider still flying behind her, he finally saw the situation: Kara had not one but two nukes on her tail. Frak…this was going to be close. _

"_I'm going to take out the first nuke Kara, just don't stop." _

"_Hurry the frak up Apollo, I don't have all day." She growled, desperately trying to keep a head of the second nuke. _

_Lee took out the first nuke, pulling up and away from the large explosion. It had been a little too close for comfort, he could see smoke coming off his wing. _

"_Starbuck, head for the debris cloud maybe we can trick the nuke into joining its twin." It was a long shot…….a really long shot but it was all he could think of. _

"_That's your brilliant fraking plan?!" she yelled, turning her viper back towards him. _

"_Have you got a better idea?" _

_She really didn't…._

"_Lee this going to be close…If I don't…" her voice was calm, eerily calm and had a dejected quality to it, as if she had already accepted her death. _

"_Don't even start Kara. You're going to make it through this and then you're going to buy me a giant glass of ambrosia at Joe's. Just keep moving and I'll take care of the rest."_

_She almost laughed, "You're one cocky bastard, Apollo."_

_Those were the last words she ever said to Lee. _

* * *

She almost didn't make it back to Galactica at all. It was Adama's voice in her ear that finally snapped her back to reality. Dee's tear-filled voice and Hotdog's yelling had fallen on deaf ears. 

She felt numb, like her world had stopped all together and yet some how people kept moving around her. Helo was the one that finally got her out of her cockpit. From there she moved on autopilot to Joe's. A couple drinks later Dee had joined her, crying into her own drink. In those moments they had formed some sort of bond. The pair of them truly felt the weight of each other's loss.

Helo made sure that she never left his sight, even carrying her to her rack when she lost the ability to stand upright.

She awoke the next day to a note from the Admiral. She was to deliver her report to CIC by 14:00 hrs. Kara sighed; she also had a meeting with the Old man scheduled for 18:00.

Kara was only able to stomach sitting in Lee's chair for a brief minute. Sitting in the CAG's office writing how she had killed another of the Admiral's sons, the last man she would ever love, was the last thing she could handle right now. She could barely make it through writing the report at all. It took her nearly 4 hours, sitting above the hanger deck nursing a glass of ambrosia.

When she was finished she made her way up to CIC and handed the report directly to Colonel Tigh. She waited for the snide remark she knew was coming, but he said nothing, just looked at her with pity in his eyes.

It was the same look she was getting from everyone else on the ship. The cylons had finally claimed one of the fleet's heroes and she was left behind.

Her meeting with the old man was tense and awkward. She spit out the words as best she could, explaining to him that she had killed his son, the last member of his family. That nuke was meant for her, but instead Lee sacrificed himself to save her. It was all her fault. She couldn't even look him in the eye, too afraid of seeing pity in his eyes too.

But she heard his voice; it was full of hurt but calm and soothing. He stood and walked around his desk, ready to embrace her. She stood quickly, backing away and leaving his quarters. She could handle the looks of pity even Adama's anger, but she couldn't take the sympathy, especially from him.

She decided against drinking herself into oblivion as she left the Admiral's quarters. She deserved to feel her pain.

Her feet brought her to the gym. She found her favourite boxing gloves amongst the other equipment, quickly putting them on, she began to pound away at the punching bag. She couldn't say how long she stood there, unleashing all her pain and frustration on the bag…only that she was eventually pulled back by Helo.

He handed her a bottle of water and ordered her to drink, which she did. She handed it back to him as Dee entered the gym. In the past everyone feared getting on Starbuck's bad side, giving her a wide berth whenever she was in a bad mood. Now everyone avoided Dee, whose emotions were so close to the surface she was crying one minute and screaming in an angry rage the next. No one feared Starbuck anymore; the light was gone from her eyes and the life drained out of her.

Kara looked up; Dee's gaze had turned from commiserating pain to all out hatred. She had obviously read the report, which meant that she knew who was responsible for her husband's death.

"I need to speak to Starbuck alone." She all but growled in Helo's direction.

Kara nodded that it was okay for him to leave, the other gym residents following suit until she was left alone with Dee.

"You killed him!" she screamed, Kara just nodded there was no reason to deny the truth.

That's when the first punch came; she felt a slight sting to her cheek. She stared at Dee, unable to think of anything to say.

Dee let loose, throwing punches from both fists, landing multiple hits on Kara's face. She continued to scream, "It was bad enough that you were fraking around, stealing him from me piece by piece…but you didn't stop there did you Starbuck?!!"

Kara felt a shiner developing on both eyes, tasted blood when her lip split open and heard a crunch when Dee's fist connected with her nose. "I loved him with all my heart…" she sobbed, "And you killed him, if it wasn't for you always fraking things up I'd be happy, with a husband who loved me and a family, a real family."

Dee switched tactics, punching her square in the stomach; she doubled over, dropping to her knees waiting for the next blow. But it never came.

Instead Helo picked her up and took her to see Doc Cottle. He started at the bloody mess barely recognizable as Starbuck. "What the frak did you Thrace? Stop a raider with your face."

She tried to respond, but instead ended up spitting blood all over Cottle's pretty white coat. She didn't know why she found that so funny.

In short order she was patched up and given pain killers, Cottle eyed her warily. "Your flight status is revoked for the next two days."

She starred at him in shock, "You can't."

"You're in no condition to be flying Thrace. Your face is a mess."

She was on her feet in an instant, fist full of his lab coat, "Flying is all I have left, you can't take it away from me."

Cottle wasn't prepared for such an emotional response, he sighed, pushing her back. "On one condition."

She nodded, "Anything."

"You need to start counselling sessions, starting tomorrow. You need to talk to someone about this. You can't keep beating yourself up." Or getting Dee to do it for me, her mind added.

"Deal." She responded, walking out of the life station and making it to her bunk.

* * *

She was in her cockpit for her early morning CAP, the pain keeping her wide awake despite the fact that she hadn't slept at all the previous night. Every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was Lee's viper being consumed in flames. Occasionally she got a variant, with Lee crying out for her as his viper exploded. Starbuck sighed; she couldn't go on like this anymore. Her next battle would be her last. 

She smiled as she watched two base stars jump into the system, her last battle was about to begin. The fleet had jumped away by the time the raiders were launched, but it was obvious that Galactica was their target when they launched 4 nukes directly at the battlestar.

Kara kicked her after burners on, flying between the nukes and Galactica. She couldn't let anything happen to the crew, the Admiral especially, she couldn't handle killing every Adama left in the world.

Her plan had worked; the nukes had locked on to her as a target instead of Galactica. Now she just had to send them back to the Cylons. She raced off towards the base stars, speeding around the spires in tighter and tighter circles until two of the nukes took the bait and slammed into the base star.

She opened up her comm. system as she started to perform the same manoeuvre on the second basestar, "Get me Galactica Actual."

She was put through to the Admiral quickly, "I'm sorry sir."

Admiral Adama knew exactly what she meant, "You can't do this Kara, I can't lose a son as well as a daughter."

She took a deep breath, feeling her viper tip forward as one of the nukes hit its target, only one left now. "I can't live my life without him…goodbye Admiral."

"Kara no!" he screamed, but it was too late. Starbuck delivered the final nuke into the heart of the base star, her viper completely consumed by the explosion.

Apollo and Starbuck would never again grace the skies.

* * *

**Kinda dark I know...but I would appreciate feedback on it.**


End file.
